I scheduled John and Sri’s wedding for the next day.

The exchange of rings went off without a hitch and then Sri wasn’t integrated into the household.  That damn glitch again!  Oh well, whatever.  At least now John can adopt a baby without having to wait for Angeline to die.

And then, as is proper and right at weddings, everyone danced.

Sri left after the party, but came back the next day, really needing to use the toilet.

John invited him in before any accidents ensued.  Then Sri went swimming, while complaining about how hungry and tired he is.

Am I supposed to assume from this that he’s now homeless?

Kirsten’s birthday happened.

I gave her the trait “natural cook”.  She’s not quite as big as I’d feared, but, as soon as she aged up, I threw her on the treadmill.

Sri was one of the last to leave.  Liev implied that his mother is a llama and beat the stuffing out of him.

Sri took off immediately afterward, saying that the party was awesome.

I aim to please.

John doesn’t have many skills to speak of.  He had a wish to learn how to fish as a kid (maybe because of his daredevil trait), but Randy, reliably catching perfect fish on nearly every attempt, is really the fisherman of the family.  John doesn’t need any skills other than athleticism for work and his lifetime goal, and he maxed that out very soon after reaching adulthood.  So I really don’t know what to do with him on his days off.

I decided he should throw a pool party, just because.

Liev made drinks.

John and Angeline got to know each other.

As did Randy and Alejandro Adcock.

Then guests started showing up, and they all jumped into the pool, which I made larger just for the occasion.

Once guests started leaving, I tried to get John a little action, but Sri’s damn bladder got in the way.

Poor John

Haha!

John had a wish to reach level 5 of the sports career.  I put off his adopting a baby until I got that wish taken care of.

That night, as soon as he got home, he called the adoption agency.

He and Kirsten made friends while he waited.

“Someone order a baby?  That’ll be zero dollars.”

Meet Roman Schreiber.

He’s friendly and clumsy.  His favorites are hamburgers, classical music, and the color yellow.

Fortunately, he showed up with all his levels at maximum, unlike biological babies who usually have hunger at half mast.  So I had John snuggle Roman, put him in his crib, and then continue to make friends with his ambulatory family members.

Liev was really stressed out from work and writing, while Angeline had a wish to woo-hoo with him.  A little relaxing wish fulfillment was just the ticket.

The next day, everyone except Angeline (who works evenings), John (who was on paternity leave), and Roman (duh) went off to work/school.  I was watching Angeline make pancakes when I suddenly heard a male voice yell, “Khartoum!  Wheel!  Eh?”

Holy crap, what was that?  Ghosts don’t come out during the day, and it’s been a while since a male Sim died in the Schreiber house.  I looked around to make sure I hadn’t forgotten to send anyone to work.  Then I heard the toilet flush.

It’s hard to see, but there’s Sim modesty pixelation just above the toilet.  I went through all my Sims again.

Randy!

He’s invisibo.

I made him go to work and prayed that I wasn’t dealing with a persistent glitch.  Fortunately, that afternoon, he came home in his proper form.

Soon enough, it was Roman’s birthday.

Baby was going to need a diaper change very soon, so I had John carry him around during the party.

Liev had a work opportunity to become friends with Ada Stanley.

For some reason, it had to be Randy who carried Roman to the birthday cake.

And then Dianna Kane died.

Grim stuck around after the party.

It looked like he was going to play on the computer, but John interrupted him to chat.

I guess either Grim thought that was rude or he’s just generally a dick, because he then proceeded to insult John’s family.

John responded by trying to get to know Grim.

And then Grim insulted his family again.

Most of my Sims were greatly affected by Dianna’s death; although Angeline didn’t care.  Randy makes sense; she was his daughter, and he’s officially now outlived all of his children.  Liev and John also grieved their great aunt (although the game classified them as cousins).  Kirsten was, according to the game, merely an acquaintance, but she grieved too.  Four grieving Sims, just what I need.

What a loving father

The next night, while Kirsten was doing homework, Liev and Randy were writing, and Angeline was about to sit down for dinner, I heard the “ghost is afoot” music.

Dianna!

She immediately made herself a drink at the juice bar and then sat down at the dining table.  She and Kirsten chatted a bit.

John was teaching Roman to walk in the upstairs bathroom, which I guess spared Roman having to be picked up by a ghost.

Dianna went back downstairs to play video games and shake the chess table.

And, just as quickly as she appeared, she disappeared back into the ether.

Once Angeline aged into an elder, I started getting anxious about fulfilling her lifetime wish.  She’s 88 now; many of my Sims have been dropping like flies in their late 80s recently, unlike my other longer-life Sims.  Randy was 100 when he first died; Alice was 96, I think; but Edgardo and Caroline were merely 89.  If I can’t get Angeline her 13 perfect specimens of fish, she’ll officially be the first of my Sims whose lifetime wish didn’t get fulfilled.

Sad face.

I’ve been sending Randy out to fish every time he gets a little stressed, and they now have eight perfect specimens. C’mon, Randy, just five more!

With Edgardo gone and a new space available at home, Liev invited Angeline over to “get to know her better”.

Much better

Gillian Garnett randomly stopped by and started swimming in the Schreibers’ pool.  I wanted Caroline to raise some simoleons for her reelection campaign (her charisma skill and lifetime wish were maxed out ages ago) so I had her greet Gillian.  I chose “irresistible greet” without fully realizing what that meant.

Oops

John is not happy.

Your father’s dead.  Get over it.

John wanted to become good friends with Sri, so I had him invite Sri over.  Liev talked to him for a bit and tried to cry on Sri’s shoulder over Edgardo’s death.

Sri thought Liev was being awkward; Liev got mad and insulted Sri repeatedly.  They’re now enemies.

John didn’t seem to care.

I had Randy get to know Bridget Garnett, Karen’s daughter.

At the same time, I had Liev propose to Angeline on the beach.  For once, no shotgun wedding is involved.

 

I scheduled the wedding for the next day.

I accidentally invited both Angeline Muse and Charla Garnett to the wedding since they’re completely identical NPCs.  I guess it’s good I invited both and not accidentally Charla instead of Angeline.

Liev spent a little time making friends with his coworker Alejandro Adcock.

Then it was time for Liev and Angeline to exchange rings, which was interrupted by the Garnett kid coming up and rambling at Liev.

Second attempt.  Jermey Garnett and Karen (I think) don’t seem happy about it.

Success!

It turns out that Angeline is a loser (a hilarious combination with Liev the snob), is overemotional, and loves the outdoors.  Her lifetime wish is the same as Elisha’s was, the perfect aquarium.  Her favorites are indie music, fish and chips, and the color orange.  She works as a grocery store clerk.  She’s already leveled up pretty well in gardening and fishing, and she immediately had a wish to learn how to cook.  I decided to enroll her in the culinary career track.

Time to make a baby!

I decided to wait to enroll Angeline in her new career until after she gives birth.  That way, she’ll get maternity leave pay.  She had a wish to play guitar in the park, which I fulfilled before her last day at the grocery store.

Misti is tres preggers.

Caroline was peacefully sleeping when…

she learned how to fly!

I wish.

She’s taking death like a champ.

Since everyone was stressed out by Caroline’s death, they played video games.

I also changed Angeline’s hair because I hate that flared, layered thing.  Hideous.

Baby time!

Angeline went into labor just as Liev needed to start getting ready to go to work.  After some minor panic, he went off to bathe.

Meet Kirsten Schreiber.

She’s a genius and friendly.  Her favorites are Latin music, French toast, and the color white.

Everyone is participating in taking care of her, but the game apparently doesn’t track family past great-grandparent.  Randy is merely an acquaintance.

After an uneventful babyhood, Kirsten grew up into a toddler.

While I was watching Sims doing their thing on the second floor, I saw someone outside the window.

Gillian Garnett somehow managed to get herself stuck out there, flapping in the breeze.  I tried to get Angeline to go talk to her, thinking that might get her unstuck, but no dice.  Just as I thought about going into Build/Buy mode to see if I could install a floor under her and a door to get her back inside the house, Gillian managed to get unstuck just in time for the party’s end.  The waffles she brought remained.  John somehow managed to retrieve them.

Unrelated Sims really just can’t be bothered to give a damn when a baby ages up.  I guess I can’t blame them.

Cutie

Mom taught her how to potty, walk, and talk.

Great-great-granddad has an interesting approach to looking through the telescope.

And great-great-granddaughter has an interesting approach to playing with her peg box.

John did his homework with cousin Victoria Kane, Kristina and Allan’s daughter.

And Randy ate some more ambrosia.

Angeline insisted on watching TV while holding Kirsten.

And gardening in her underwear.

It was time for Liev to age into a mature adult.

I’d had him level up his relationship with Terry Flynn, a coworker, but Terry kicked the bucket shortly after Liev aged up.  Well that was a waste of time.

Michael Neal was really broken up about it.

And Elmer Westmoreland repeatedly passed out.

Grim made himself some juice at the juice bar.

Had a little trouble finding a seat at the table.

And hung out for a little bit.

He hates dirty dishes too.  Grim Reapers, they’re just like us!

Tucker Kay, Jason’s not-a-ghost baby (dammit!), was old enough to attend John’s young adult birthday party.  Randy chatted with him a bit.

Randy had a skill opportunity to make friends with Angeline’s doppelganger, Charla Garnett.  During the course of the party, John also had a wish to make friends with her.

Birthday!

John looks very proud of himself.  I decided to let him keep the trademark Apablaza hair.  With a proper moustache, I think it’ll suit him.  I also made him family oriented.  The next day, I enrolled him in the professional sports career to eventually fulfill his lifetime wish.

C'mon, Liev, seriously?

At Kirsten’s toddler-to-child birthday party, I had John flirt with his best friend Sri.

I know, my grossness knows no bounds.

No, he’s not pregnant.  I accidentally had him eat some spoiled food before the party began.

Birthday!

Oh my, what an unfortunate-looking child.  I can already tell she’s going to be spending a lot of time on the treadmill.  I blame her mother.

I gave Kirsten the ambitious trait.

Tucker and Kirsten got to know each other a bit.

Kirsten also racked up a wish to become friends with Charla.  What is it about that lady?

Aww, yeah

After woo-hoo-ing with John, Sri went into Kirsten’s bedroom to play the guitar.  She asked him to stop, then he proceeded to creepily stand there and watch her while she slept.

And then he started playing the guitar again.

Jerk

Since Liev hated him already anyway, I had him pick a fight with Sri.  He insulted Sri’s family and then proceeded to give him a smackdown.

I’ve been trying to get my Sims to eat meals together.  It’s tough to get all six of them to sit down together at one time, but I can get three eating pretty much simultaneously.

I managed all five at one point.

Soon enough, it was time for Angeline to age into an elder.  She is MUCH older than Liev.

Plates of hot dogs multiplied like rabbits outside the Schreibers’ front door.  Charla, whom John had invited over the night before, played the guitar outside for 16 hours after saying she had to leave.

As you can see from the puddle and the stink lines coming off of her, she had a little accident.

I had my Sims invite her in so she could at least get something to eat.

I don’t remember what happened here, but Liev and Misti Kay are not on good terms.

While still stinking up the place, Charla took a nap on John’s bed.  Gross.

Kirsten got to know her great-great aunt, Dianna Kane.

Despite her being grossness personified, John still wanted to become good friends with Charla.

John is a family oriented Sim, but his relationship levels with the actual members of his household were tragically low.

He became friends with Randy.

Paddington is everyone’s best friend.

John invited Sri over, and they went over to the beach, where John proposed.

Sri accepted!

To The New York Times, for my new reading list.

David Foster Wallace?  I’m in!

Despite having a superior grasp of English grammar and punctuation (if I may toot my own horn), I’m pretty terrible at explaining their principles.  One problem is that I’ve never really learned the terminology.  What exactly is a dangling participle?  I’m not sure, but you might want to zip that up before someone sees your dipthong.

Most of my affinity for language comes from day-to-day study and practice while reading and writing, not from sentence diagrams or other things American schools haven’t taught for 50 years.  Nevertheless, I’m going to try to comment on English grammar, largely in layman’s terms.

To wit:  faulty parallelism.  This is one grammar principle with which I’m all too familiar; I even know its proper term.

This may be one of the most pervasive mistakes I see on the job.  The hardest part about correcting the mistake is not in identifying it in the first place, even if it’s the type of error I typically catch with a double take.  It’s also not just the trouble of trying to figure out what the writer is trying to say despite herself.  It’s rather that very few people recognize it as poor grammar.  Since the writer understands what she meant to say in her own head, that it might (will) confuse the reader doesn’t factor into the equation.  My corrections of faulty parallelism are almost invariably changed back by the author.

It’s difficult to explain what exactly this mistake looks like, but I’ll give it a shot.  When a writer is constructing a sentence, it’s necessary to use the same elements throughout.

Let’s say a writer wants to tell the world about his personal interests; he’s likely to write:

I like writing, music, and dim sum.

Especially if spoken, this sentence actually says that the writer likes to write music and to write the words “dim sum”.  Or he’s somehow making a food item through writing; I’m not sure how that works.

As I already mentioned, this kind of construction is very common in unedited prose.  Many layman writers, and even some professionals, do not know not to combine parts of speech willy nilly.  A proper construction would look like:

I like writing, listening to music, and going out for dim sum.

All gerunds.

Another option:

I like the written word, music, and dim sum.

All nouns.

That one is obviously less precise, since liking the written word can apply to reading or writing.

A third, clunky option:

I like writing, and I like music and dim sum.

Although, really, who doesn’t like music?

As with most grammar mistakes, I can’t complain that much about the general public’s ignorance of the English language (that is largely what keeps me employed), but I still have to mentally cross my fingers that these kinds of constructions don’t someday become enshrined in “proper” English usage.

Very soon after Caroline gave birth to John, Edgardo aged into an elder.

He doesn’t look very happy about it.

The next day, Caroline aged into an elder.  She was busy putting John to bed when guests start showing up to her birthday party (they regularly show up an hour early), so they all flooded her bedroom.

Awkward

Yasmin apparently had another child with Herger Monroe, Emmanuel Landgraab.  I guess I’m glad I didn’t have Caroline try to jump his bones.

Since Camilla turned out to be crazy gross, I had Jason chat up some new ladies, such as Holly Brennan.

Edgardo questioned his brother Caleb.

Birthday!

Redrum. Redrum.

The same evening, John aged into a toddler.

He looks nothing like his brother.

Caroline had a wish to retire, which I overrode.  Her pension would not be sufficient for my long-term plan to make the Schreibers millionaires.

The next day, she went to work like this.

Passive aggressive much?

It was time for Liev to age into a young adult.

Wendy Westmoreland, an insane Sim, if I ever saw one, came to the party in her bathing suit.

Poor Lana.  I wonder if Kelley died recently.

Aww, yeah.

Birthday!

I wanted to have a little fun with him, so I gave Liev the final trait of mean spirited.  His lifetime wish is illustrious author, requiring him to max out his painting and writing skills.  I gave him a goatee for an artistic look, but close-cropped hair for the corporate sell-out job he’s going to take.

Holly and Jason got it on.

Edgardo became an international spy, fulfilling his lifetime wish.  Look at that work outfit!

He also wanted to retire, but, sorry, no.

The nice thing about Sims’ meeting the maximum level of their careers is that they can take it easy (in Caroline’s case), work out (Edgardo), or play golf (Randy) during work hours.  They still get periodic raises, and they’re happier coming back from work than when they left.

As my last retired Sim, Jason had a little fun.  He seduced the newly single Lana Adcock.  He immediately started racking up wishes to learn two more of her traits and to amorously hug her.  I guess his true love was right in front of him all along.

At John’s toddler-to-child party, I wanted to create a little drama.  I had Jason flirt with Lana while Holly (his girlfriend at that point) was in the room.  Holly was apparently upset about it, evidenced by the reactions in red over her head, but she didn’t even stop playing the guitar;  I didn’t get the all-out fight I was hoping for.

I was scoping out a spouse for Liev, counting on Jason dying soon.  I had him chat up Wendy Westmoreland; the thought of him marrying an insane Sim made me crack up.

I left them alone for just a second, and they started insulting each other.  Oh well.

Birthday!

I gave John the daredevil trait and dressed him in athletic clothes for just about every occasion.

Jason’s catting around had taken its toll on his and Caroline’s relationship.  I had him try to make it up to her.

And then this happened.

Everyone mourned him, even John who didn’t have much of a relationship with him.

Randy, as the greatest simoleon earner in the house (he earns almost 5,000 per work day and 25,000 every Sunday from book royalties), has to be kept alive if my Sims are going to be millionaires anytime in the near future.

Eat your ambrosia, Randy.

Good God, Liev, what are you doing?

Worst Sim painting. EVER.

Liev is doing well in painting, one half of his lifetime wish, but writing is problematic.  Unlike painting, which raises his fun levels, writing stresses him out in short order.

I decided Jason might as well try for another ghost baby.  I had him flirt with Misti Kay, one of Edgardo’s coworkers.  Caroline was so upset about it, she got out of bed and went all the way down to the foyer to complain.

And this is the moodlet she had.

Jason’s attempted cheating was all for nought however.  Misti wasn’t in the mood.

Back when the fridge was still roped off, I got lazy about protecting Randy’s ambrosia.  One night, when both Gillian Garnett and Amanda Neal were hanging out with the Schreibers, someone ate the last serving.  I think this picture reveals the culprit.

That’s Gillian on the left and Amanda on the right.  Gillian was a young adult when Elisha got involved with her.  Amanda had to have been older; she’s been working with Caroline and birthing babies at the Schreiber house for quite some time.

Too bad I can’t get Edgardo to arrest her.

Jason’s time was running out, and I wanted him to say goodbye to his true love.  He ran down to the beach to talk to Lana Adcock.

And then, he didn’t go to the netherworld.  He overrode it, and now “return to the netherworld” isn’t coming up.  Dammit.  Liev needs to get married!

A “friend” came home with John after school.  I made sure they were properly introduced.  I find it so odd that Sim children can invite “friends” home from school, but when they actually interact, their relationship meter is non-existent.

Karen Garnett has had a baby.  Hi there, Bridgette Garnett.

John and friend did their homework together, while creepy ghost uncle ate his dinner.  I’m getting really sick of Jason at this point.  Be gone with you!

Karen and her daughter stopped by.

Soon thereafter, it was time for John’s teenage birthday party.  I decided to use the occasion to finally find Liev a spouse.

Here he is chatting up Angeline Muse.

John had a wish to become friends with Sri Adcock.

Right as I told John to go blow out his candles, this happened.

Edgardo begged for his life.

No dice.

John got to celebrate his aging up alone.

I don’t think his heart’s quite in it.

I gave him the trait “can’t stand art”.

Misti Kay came to the party with her boyfriend Elmer Westmoreland, but I managed to get Jason to convince her to stay the night.  Elmer left, and ghost-baby-making commenced.

Caroline had a wish to woo-hoo with Edgardo and they might as well before he disappears into the great unknown.  I got them up to extremely irresistible but Caroline bumped it back down to very alluring, even though it was her frickin’ wish.  Screw it.  Sorry, guys.  Edgardo needs to leave to make room for Liev’s spouse.

I still was unable to get Jason to go the hell away already.  More than just wanting Liev to have a spouse and baby, I was just sick of taking care of him.  I started to wonder, can you kill a ghost?

I decided to find out.

Right after he got Misti pregnant, I walled him up in a door-less closet in his bedroom.

He was already tired and repeatedly tried to go to bed.

He pissed himself.

And life continued for my other Sims.

It was actually kind of disturbing watching the other Sims continue with their lives completely unfazed while their brother/uncle/grandson was slowly starving upstairs.  And then Jason started crying, and I felt bad.  Not bad enough to let him out, but bad enough to check to see if I could finally send him to the netherworld.  I don’t know if his extended distress had an influence, but the option finally came up.

Bye, Jason.  Sorry about that.

Ah, this is how older kids play with their dollhouses.  That makes more sense.

I guess since there was only one fish bowl, I forgot to have my Sims feed Daniel.

The poor guy can’t catch a break.  Murdered by his brother and then neglected to death by the Schreiber family.  Maybe now he’s in a better place.

Edgardo was doing well in the law enforcement career; I guess because he was already leveled up in logic and athleticism.  It seemed like he was getting promotions on a daily basis, but he still was unhappy about the “Reports” section in his work performance.  I figured he should go out and question the public.

He questioned Camilla Landgraab.

And, later on, Kelley Idaho.

Look at the bottom left-hand corner.

Sigh.

I’m not sure what happened exactly.  Maybe one of the Apablazas got Marie Idaho pregnant?  Whatever happened, Edgardo is Kelley’s cousin, which means he’s closely related to Caroline.  If my calculations are correct, he’s as closely related to her as Jason is to Camilla.

Damn it!  Will I ever stop inbreeding my Sims?

Well, I take no responsibility for this.  It’s not my fault Marie couldn’t settle on a single babydaddy.

Edgardo’s questioning wasn’t making him feel better about the “Reports” situation.  I guess I’ll figure it out later.

Because now it’s Jason’s time to age into an elder.

Jermey Garnett showed up to the party in his bathing suit, because he’s insane.  No, seriously.  He’s insane.  I’ve seen him talking to himself.

The other Sims are at least as mean to him as they are to Caroline.  Nice to know that Caroline is as hated as a literally insane Sim.

Mindy Kane was invited to the party.  She’s Kristina Kane’s daughter by Allan Apablaza.  I had Liev get to know his cousin.

Jason was unhappy about his relationship with his coworkers.  I had him become friends with Morgan Klein.

Nice face.

As soon as Jason aged up, Morgan Klein died.  So much for his work performance.

Grim, I guess, couldn’t get near her thanks to all the Sims in the way.  He remained a smoky puddle under the stairs until Morgan disappeared into her urn.

A clusterfuck of Sims.

That same night, a burglar was sneaking around outside the house.

But the Schreibers have an alarm system.  The cops showed up within minutes.

And beat the stuffing out of the criminal.

Randy, Jason, and Edgardo woke up during all of this, but Edgardo stayed in bed until it was all over.  He’s the cop in the family!  Geez.

When I sent Randy to bed, he went into Liev’s room.  Another senior moment, I guess.

Fortunately, Liev’s bed isn’t big enough for two, so there will be no more repeats of Elisha’s behavior, for now.

The cop seems to enjoy seeing Jason in his underwear.

Immediately after aging up, Jason had a wish to retire.  He’s making 2,600 simoleons five times a week, though.  It’s kind of hard to justify his retiring.

He passive-aggressively showed his displeasure about going to work, by dressing like this:

Amanda Neal stopped by heavily pregnant again.

And went into labor that night.  Do the Schreibers just have that comfortable a house?  That unrelated Sims just have to spend their pregnancy there?

Maybe so.

Meanwhile, Caroline was promoted to leader of the free world.  Her outfit isn’t quite as hideous as the male version.

January Landgraab is still the elusive bastard child whom Caroline, Jason, and Randy can’t quite become friends with; although not so elusive as Rodrick and Vaughn who disappeared off the face of the planet, and I’ve seen Candace Landgraab around, but neglected having anyone interact with her.

Look at how old she’s getting!  Shara is also an elder.  Randy is going to outlive all his children.

Jason finally got a chance to get to know Gayle, his daughter.

In the background, Randy is getting to know Elisha’s bastard child, Karen.

Making wishes is serious business.

I let the game assign Liev the bookworm trait.  That douchey hairstyle will have to go.  I guess it suits snob, but not artistic or bookworm.

For the first time in all my Sim parties, everyone grabbed cake and sat down without incident.

That night, Morgan Klein’s ghost showed up.

Randy’s not afraid.

Morgan’s first act as a ghost was to boo Caroline, while Caroline was sleeping peacefully one floor up.

I love weekends in Sims 3 almost as much as in real life.  Finally, a chance to get Sims doing something other than working and doing homework.

Edgardo and Caroline played chess in their underwear.

At some point, Jason reached the maximum level of painting, fulfilling his lifetime wish; I think it might have been when he was still an adult.  Impressive!  He has a wish to paint a masterpiece, but he keeps not quite making it.

I like to think he painted this in tribute of Michael.

Caroline worked on her guitar skill.  She is so close to reaching her lifetime wish as well.

My current long-term plan for the Schreibers is going to require more wage earners in the family.

Caroline and Edgardo were willing victims.

That weekend, Camilla stopped by.  I figured Jason and she could get it on.

She had serious stink lines coming off of her.  I had Jason persevere, but I couldn’t get him past “flirty”.  Screw it.  It’s probably because Camilla is hungry, tired, and smelly and refuses to eat, sleep, or take a damn shower.

I sent him to bed.

Uh oh.  Someone’s not feeling well.

Camilla talked to Marisela Neal, until she pissed herself.  Can she get any more gross at this point?  I regret getting Jason involved with her.

If he’s going to have any love as an elder, it’s going to be with someone else.

Edgardo and Randy wanted to become best friends with each other.  As I was fulfilling their wishes, I saw this:

Break up with Heather?  Heather’s been dead for ages.

Caroline was raising the simoleons for her reelection campaign, when I noticed Candace Landgraab at the beach.  Strangely, she and Caroline were already friends.  I in no way recollect having them interact before.

Jason was painting at the beach and everyone else was at school/work when Caroline went into labor.

Randy, Edgardo, and Liev arrived at the same time.  Edgardo and Randy were suitably panicked.  Liev was unfazed and went to do his homework before his part-time job at the bookstore.

Meet John Schreiber.

I have a specific idea in mind for him, so I chose his traits.  He’s athletic like his mother and brave like his father and great-grandfather.  He also likes Latin music (must be the Apablaza influence), cobbler, and the color spice brown.

After a couple of days of Caroline not getting a good night’s sleep, it was time for Liev to age up.

Caroline had maxed out her charisma by then, but still was woefully under-achieving in guitar.  I had her play guitar at the party for once.

Her uncle, Kelley Idaho, stood uncomfortably close.

Creepy uncle, indeed.

As a party animal, Jason has the option of calling over unlimited numbers of Sims to dance.  I couldn’t pass that opportunity up.

I have to confess to something horrible.

I was putting together the Schreiber family tree, which I’ll post later, when it occurred to me that I didn’t know anything about Camilla Landgraab’s background.  When Jason first met her, I just figured that there are lots of Landgraabs around, so who knows or cares who her parents are?

But, I was thinking, she couldn’t be Adrien’s kid; he took Emily Tilley’s name.  Then, a horrible thought crossed my mind.

I had Caroline invite her to the party to confirm or quell my suspicions.

Argh!  She’s Randy’s niece!

She had to have been born to Yasmin Landgraab before Michael stole Yasmin from Herger Monroe, Randy’s brother.  She’s Alice and Michael’s cousin.  She’s closely related to Jason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Gross.

Back to the program.

Liev’s birthday!

He’s afflicted with bald toddler syndrome.

Caroline’s birthday was on the same day; I aged her up quickly after Liev, before all the other Sims could grab cake and leave.

Don’t let her happy appearance fool you.  She was nearly in the red at this point, suffering extreme hunger and fatigue and having to endure the wailing of her son who had just shat himself on the floor where he aged up.

The perils of motherhood.

Mmm, cake.

Now that Liev is a toddler, he needs his own room.  It became necessary to junk the aquarium for his benefit.

Goodbye, Natalie, Leoben, Aaron, Sharon, D’Anna, John, Saul, Galen, Tory, Sam, and Ellen.  See you on the other side.

I kept Daniel because he’s special.

How can a loner get lonely so quickly?

A quick tickle does the trick.

Gah!  That hair!

That’s better.

One night, I heard guitar music but none of my Sims were playing.  Amanda Neal and her toddler were outside the house.  I had Randy invite them in.  Despite the kid following them in, he was apparently whisked off by babysitting services anyway.

Gillian stayed over for a couple of nights.

And slept in Randy's bed.

That worked out well since she went into labor the next morning.

She gave birth to Karen who’s artistic like her half-brother and a genius.

Almost as soon as Elisha returned from the hospital, it was time to die.

In with the new, out with the old.

Look at that gravestone! He led a good life.

For the first time since I’ve played this game, Grim stuck around afterward.  He was going to read Babylon Cinco: The Marcus Chronicles, a fine choice if I may say so, but I had Randy distract him long enough for Caroline to get back from the beach.

Grim’s favorite color is blue.

He also likes starfish.

Caroline used a hilarious greet on him.  He doesn’t have a sense of humor, but he was polite enough to laugh.

Then, almost as suddenly as he appeared, Grim disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Amanda Neal insisted on staying a full day.  No one invited her to stay the night.  Oh and she worked out but refused to take a shower.

Look at those stink lines.

Then she went into labor?

Why wasn’t she with her husband then?  In the Schreibers’ spiffy former house?

Elisha, the ghost, insisted on playing the guitar in Randy’s room while Randy was trying to sleep.

Jerk.

Caroline kept having wishes to hang out with Edgardo, so I figured I’d make the process easier for myself.  She popped the question, and he accepted.

They did a little woo-hooing to celebrate.

No, I didn’t tell them to use Randy’s bed.

Elisha chose to play catch with Edgardo all on his own.  His bladder was nearing critical, but my Sims usually send themselves to the bathroom in time, so I didn’t worry about it.

But the clock kept winding down, and he just kept throwing that ball.

Uh oh.

Oops.

OK, I admit it.  That was pretty funny.  The first time one of my adult Sims had an accident!

They threw the wedding party that night.

Amanda Neal was grieving Elisha as he was standing right in front of her.  Also, why was she grieving him at all?  Sure, she watched him die, but I don’t even think they were friends.  Or is there something I need to know about her pregnancy?

Elisha!

Ring exchange.

And, then… Edgardo didn’t get merged into the household.  He had the esteemed Schreiber name.  I even had Caroline ask him to move in.  Still, nothing.

Dammit!

So, I restarted the game, back to the point where she proposed, and they exchanged rings privately.  I guess they had their proper wedding in an alternate universe.

Edgardo is brave and athletic.  His favorites are electronica, hamburgers, and lime green.  And his lifetime wish is to be an international super spy.

For once, my female Sim married someone age appropriate.  Edgardo is only a few days older than Caroline.

I had Edgardo quit his job at the grocery store and sign up for the law enforcement career the next day.  I also got rid of that horrible ponytail.

Soon thereafter, it was time for Liev to age up into full childhood.

For the first time, Gayle, Jason’s inbred daughter by Camilla, was able to attend.  It’s a little odd that she grew into a child before Liev; they were born on pretty much the same day.  But, hey, at least she doesn’t have a third arm or a club foot.

I had it in mind to try for a ghost baby again.  Elisha’s clock was winding down, but, regardless, he worked Gillian up to extremely irresistible.  They were on their way to his bedroom, when *poof* he was gone.

Oh well

Unfortunately, now that Elisha is gone, the Schreibers have lost their only connection to Karen, Elisha and Gillian’s daughter.  I’ll have to keep an eye out for her in the future.

I was so preoccupied with getting that ghost baby, I just barely missed getting Liev to blow out the candles.  Bernardo Apablaza put him on the floor of Jason’s room to age up.

Oh my, red hair again.

The game made Liev a snob, which should go well with artistic and loner.

I was obliged to use karma powers twice to give Jason a makeover because the change appearance interaction in the mirror wasn’t showing up for him.  Unfortunately for my Sims, the more you use karma powers, the more likely something bad is going to happen.

So, one night, just as nightly karma points were about to be awarded at 11:55 pm, the Schreibers experienced an earthquake.

The earthquake caused the otherwise fireproof oven to catch on fire.

Panic!

Randy, the brave Sim, put it out.

The firefighter was a total jerk about it too, telling the Schreibers to be more careful next time.

After all the excitement, I had to send Randy to bed, but the earthquake apparently also broke the downstairs shower.

It sure helps to have a bunch of handy Sims around.

Now that Caroline needs to work on her charisma, birthdays aren’t so bad.

At Jason’s birthday, she took the time to become friends with Kristina Kane.

Jason’s aging up to a mature adult.  Whoop-de-doo.

Gah!

After merging with her father in a disturbing glitch, Caroline cheered on Jason’s birthday on the far side of the room while her aunt and coworker booed her.

Sigh

After the party, Jason worked on his guitar skill.  He’s so close to maxing out!

Apparently, Caroline can increase her charisma by playing guitar.  Here she is improving her relationship levels with her boss, Michael Lynd; Kristina Kane; and some other lady.

Randy is still hard at work writing books.  I had him start his masterpiece Michael Schreiber: Sim Hero.  It’s taking forever.  He still has a wish to write 40 books, and I have no idea how close he is.

Even the mail carrier boos Caroline as she leaves for work.

Jerk!

Elisha doesn’t do much except garden and watch TV.  Here he’s watching the Sim Martha Stewart get eaten by a cow plant.

Although in this screenshot it looks like the cow plant is sniffing her crotch.

Caroline had a wish to become good friends with Lana Adcock.  When Lana came over, she brought her baby Sri, whom she left outside the house to get picked up by babysitting services.

Squirrel!

Caroline had an opportunity to throw a party after work, a good chance for her to ingratiate herself to her boss and work on her charisma.

Most of the Sims got stuck outside the house because I jumped the gun on sending my Sims outside to greet them all.  Lesson learned.

Caroline became friends with Amanda Neal, who lives at the Schreibers’ former house and who’s Caroline’s coworker.  She also became best friends with Michael Lynd Neal.

During the party, she had a skill opportunity to become friends with Heather Kane, whom I had actually invited to get Randy a little nookie.  Caroline gave her an inspirational speech.

Randy got some after all.

Caroline and Jason weren’t getting any younger, and neither of them had any romantic wishes regarding any Sims.  I decided to force the issue.  Jason had a wish to throw a formal party, so why not seek out spouse(s) when everyone’s dressed up?  I had him invite three young men and three young women.  Kristina Kane crashed the party; I know better than to invite a relative to such a thing.

Caroline talked to Edgardo Apablaza.

Jason chatted with Camilla Landgraab.

Caroline and Jason were already friends with Edgardo and Camilla, respectively, so I had them try a little flirting.  Which worked out well…

…for both of them.

Gillian Garnett dropped by, and I had Elisha keep her entertained since Caroline and Jason were otherwise occupied.

I worked Edgardo and Camilla up to extremely irresistible in short order.  They each suggested try for baby.  Edgardo jumped at the chance; Camilla stuck Jason in the friend zone.

Congratulations, Caroline.  You’re bringing the next Schreiber generation into the world.

Later on, while Caroline was in post-coital bliss, I had Jason try to get in Camilla’s pants again.

Success!

The next morning, Caroline wasn’t feeling so hot.

Teehee

She still went off to work though and was promoted to mayor.  Excellent timing!

Randy also was promoted to world renowned surgeon, his lifetime wish.  He celebrated by making some excellent food for the family.

Jason then maxed out his music career with his promotion to hit movie composer.

Everything’s coming up Schreiber.

At some point during all of this, Heather Kane died.  Even though she wasn’t part of the household, Randy still desperately grieved for her.

Sim grief is easier to take when they’re not doing it all at once.

Caroline went on maternity leave.  After she ate a bunch of apples to ensure the birth of a boy, I sat her down to read a pregnancy book while listening to Kids music.  (I’ve heard the latter increases your chances of twins.)

She also worked out a bit; she’s too close to maxing out her athletic skill to take a break now.

Apparently, pregnant Sims can lift weights, swim, and jog, but they cannot use the treadmill.

Elisha had a wish to hang out with Gillian, so I had him invite her over.  I also may, again, have had nefarious ideas in mind.

Elisha tried flirting with her and found out she was unflirty.  I had him repeat the same actions that she seemed to actually like (amorous hug and hold hands) over and over.  I got him up to very alluring and then extremely irresistible.  He suggested they do the deed, but got bumped back down to very alluring.  He also tried to go steady with her and found out that Gillian has commitment issues.  What a lonely combination.

Jason had a wish to massage Camilla for, um, no reason, no reason at all.  I saw she was at the beach, so I sent him down there for a little wish fulfillment.

Oh, okay.  He got her pregnant.

Caroline wanted to hang out with Amanda Neal.  Once that wish was fulfilled, Amanda and Randy played in the sprinklers together.  I guess they really clicked, because Randy immediately started racking up wishes to become friends with her.

Caroline wanted to hang out with Edgardo.  Almost as soon as he showed up, she went into labor.

Again, good timing!

After the hullabaloo died down, Edgardo sat down to read the newspaper.

Meet Liev Schreiber.

He’s artistic and a loner, and he’s an only child.  So much for twins.

Gillian stopped by randomly again; I figured maybe this time I could put my nefarious ideas into action.

Aww, yeah

Ding-a-ling!

What is it about the Schreibers and their refusal to use protection, I ask you.

The time for Caroline’s birthday had arrived.  She still hadn’t chosen a lifetime wish that I’ll let her have (the most recent was to become CEO of a mega-corporation) so I was curious to see if the game would let me choose.

My Sims invited over mostly Landgraabs and Kanes yet again, most of whom were teenagers.  Almost as soon as they showed up, they sat down and started doing homework.  Fortunately, Gillian Apablaza crashed the party, so I was still able to get Caroline to work on her charisma skill.

And look who showed up?  Dianna Kane!  The not-a-ghost baby.

Caroline had a wish to get to know Caleb Apablaza better (perhaps he brought Gillian).  I aim to please.

Caroline’s guests stopped booing and pointing and laughing at her long enough to cheer on her aging into a young adult.

The game let me choose her lifetime wish after all.  I chose the golden fingers, golden tongues lifetime wish; she’ll have to max out her guitar playing and charisma skills.  I also gave her the great kisser trait to hopefully help her overcome the apparent hatred and derision most Sims feel toward her.

Very soon after her birthday, Caroline had a wish to join the political career.  I can think of worse ways for her to work on her charisma.

More random Sims keep stopping by the house.  Morgan Flynn, whom my Sims never met before as far as I know, dropped by.  At least Caroline has plenty of subjects for her lifetime wish.

Elisha was gardening when I noticed someone swimming in the pool; certainly not one of my Sims, they’re all busy.

Again, a (sort of) random Sim.  Emilio Kane didn’t ring the doorbell or interact with my Sims in any way before going for a swim.  But he is Caroline’s boss, so I guess I’ll overlook it.

I used the opportunity to improve Caroline’s relationship with him.

Jason’s favorite food is waffles, which Randy makes particularly well, generally a perfect effort every time.  Jason applauds a little before he chows down.

I have to be careful what I tell Jason to eat since he tosses his cookies if he eats meat.  I once told him to eat cheesesteak (what’s wrong with me?), and I’ve been careful ever since.  Fortunately, canned soup is vegetarian, but spaghetti, apparently, is not.

Not long after Caroline’s birthday, Alice passed away.

She begged for her life, but Grim was unimpressed.

I guess I see his point; she did have a good life after all.

As per usual, the Schreibers were extremely stressed out by the experience.  I engineered another family outing at the park.

While they were variously playing the guitar, fishing, and playing chess, I noticed Amanda Neal going into their old house.  A new resident!  Slightly less creepy, I suppose, even if all their old furniture is still in there.

I had Jason read a book for work, and he chose Caroline’s bed.  What is it about her bed?

Caroline really needed to work on her charisma, and I was interested in maybe finding love interests for Caroline and Jason.  I sent them off to the art gallery.

They simultaneously suffered a bout of grief upon alighting from the taxi.

Since no one was at the art gallery, they moved on to the park across from City Hall.

Jason chatted with Shara and Dianna Kane.

Caroline kept up her friendships with Emilio Kane and Caleb Apablaza, chatted a bit with Shara and Dianna as well, and got to know Aaron Tilley.

Jason cried on Morgan Flynn’s shoulder.

When I got home, Alice and Randy had a negative interaction of some sort.  I checked their relationship status, and they were enemies!  I felt guilty for letting things get to that point, so I had them get to know each other better.

I don’t know why Alice and Randy would butt heads.  Maybe they’re getting cranky in their old age.  Or death changes people.

I’m really liking how Jason’s painting is progressing.

He’s wearing the talent scout (or is it band manager?) outfit for his job which looks utterly hilarious with his mohawk.  He had a wish to join the symphonic branch of the music career track, but I really have my heart set on rock star.

Caroline ate waffles in her underwear, next to her grandfather.

Well, I guess he is a hundred-something years days old.

Alice had a wish to flirt with Elisha, and things kind of took off from there.

I’m glad they had that last chance at intimacy.  The very next morning, Alice spontaneously vanished into the unknown while doing some gardening.  Notice those Zzs coming out of her head?

They stuck around for days in the exact place she was standing when she went on to the netherworld.

Very soon thereafter, Jason was promoted, and I accidentally chose the symphonic track for him.

Dammit!

I think I absentmindedly pressed ‘A’, thinking the game just wanted me to choose his career outfit.

Oh well, he does look good in a tux at least.  I gave him the makeover I was planning for him when he aged into a mature adult, a kind of Trent Reznor as Oscar winning composer look.  It suits him pretty well I think.  He also kept his earring and his zebra print boots.

Someone do something about the crying toddler!

Randy still had really low levels of acquaintance with everyone in the household, so I had him chat with Elisha.  And then I discovered this:

They’re no longer family because Alice is dead?  That makes me sad.

One of Jason’s friends, Irma Olson, stopped by the house to chat.  I decided to leave them be, and they immediately had a negative interaction.  Irma insulted him!  Jason expressed humiliation, and she thought it was funny!  It was at that point that Jason found out that she’s evil.  He almost simultaneously generated wishes to become good friends with her and to be mean to her.  Oh, Sims.

And then they danced.

I’d had Elisha fishing and fishing away.  He caught Saul, a blowfish; Galen, a tuna; Tory, a tragic clownfish; and Sam, a shark; but I couldn’t get him another perfect fish of a different species.  I had him fish and fish and fish, using various kinds of bait.  I couldn’t even get him a friggin’ anchovy.  Time was running out!  Elisha is no spring chicken.

But, finally, he caught a perfect angelfish.  He ran back to the house to put Ellen into the last fishbowl.

Tada!

Lifetime wish fulfilled!

Crap, now what do I do with him?

Despite moving into new digs, the Schreibers continued on with their lives as before.

Except with much nicer views

The new house is much more isolated than the last.  They live near a public beach, but have no neighbors.  That doesn’t stop random Sims from playing guitar outside their house all night.

Jason was badly in need of a rock star makeover.  The game won’t let me keep hairstyles from one life stage to the next, and it keeps assigning the parents’ hairstyles to the younger generations.  Alice and Caroline keep getting stuck with Jackie’s ugly messy bob.  Jason keeps getting stuck with Elisha’s lustrous ‘do, which isn’t at all suited for what I want for Jason.

Much better

I fixed up the Schreibers’ individual bedrooms a bit.

Alice’s favorite color is gray; Elisha’s is black.  They got a lovely combination of the two.

Randy’s favorite color is black.

Caroline’s favorite color is pink.  I made the walls light pink and gave her a white wicker bed with a hot pink bedspread.  I wasn’t sure what would go well with hot pink, so I gave her sheets in a very muted light purple, almost a hyacinth blue.

Jason’s favorite color is “spiceberry”, which is essentially a dark violet.  I thought the natural wood of the floor and of his bed went really well with it and with his red bedspread.

My Sims regularly get the well decorated moodlet, so I think I’m doing pretty well by them.

My little athlete got to work in the gym in the garage.

That guy, Rashad Shelly, who was playing guitar outside the house, stopped by for a chat.  Alice immediately wanted to become friends with him.

Perhaps you’ve noticed the velvet rope around the refrigerator.

My other Sims keep trying to eat Randy’s ambrosia.  Once, at the old house, I noticed that Alice was going to get something to eat.  Fortunately, I double-checked the action, realized she was going to eat Randy’s ambrosia, and canceled it.  But this is becoming a serious problem in the new house.  I simply can’t keep track of five Sims in three stories.  Elisha has twice been able to take ambrosia out of the fridge; the second time he was halfway to the dining table before I was able to stop him.

The velvet rope is an impenetrable barrier to Sims.  If they want to eat something, they’re just going to have to let me know by yelling “Ouagadougou” or whatever.

Randy had a negative relationship with his boss, which was weird since Lana Adcock was the family’s babysitter.  He kept inviting her over, and she kept not showing.  So, the mountain went to Mohammed.

Randy used that ol’ Monroe charm, and they’re now best friends.

Lana appears to suffer from the same fat-thin-fat-thin disease running rampant in Moonlight Bay.

She lives right across the street from the former Schreiber abode, and the place looks exactly the same.

If you peer in the windows, you can see that all the old furniture is in there exactly where it was left.  All the plants are still in the backyard.

Kind of creepy if you ask me.

Alice can’t figure out which bed is hers.

Soon enough, it was time for Elisha to age into an elder.  I again invited all the Kanes and Landgraabs I could.

Vaughn Landgraab, looking slightly better than he did as a child at least, but still not as dreamy as either of his parents.

There was a clusterfuck of Sims at the bottom of the stairs, so only three made it up to the dining room to cheer Elisha’s birthday.  I’ll need to install doublewide stairs.

Other Sims’ thinking Caroline smells bad has now apparently progressed to them booing her.  What the hell?  Caroline is awesome.  They’re just jealous.

Caroline showed them all by creating a lovely painting of the night sky.

Elisha immediately wanted to retire.  I granted that wish since he needs to get cracking on his lifetime wish, to have perfect specimens of 13 different kinds of fish.  I already started to set up the aquarium for him, but the Schreibers had only six perfect fish on hand.  So far, they have Daniel, a goldfish (he lives all alone on the kitchen counter rather than in the fishbowl room), Natalie, a rainbow trout; Leoben, a minnow; Aaron, a Siamese catfish; Simon, a black goldfish (I swear the name/species of goldfish was totally a coincidence); and Sharon, a red herring.

All those fish have been caught by other members of the family.  Hopefully, that won’t have any effect on whether Elisha attains his goal, but, just in case, I sent him out to do his own fishing.

He caught D’Anna, an alley catfish, and John, a jellyfish.

Jason and Elisha both had wishes to play guitar in the park, but apparently the beach near their house doesn’t count.  So, I decided to set up a family outing.

The Schreibers went back to their old stomping grounds at the Pity Party Community Playground.  Alice did some fishing despite the Zs rising from her head.  Elisha played the guitar first since I forgot to put more than one in their inventory.  Caroline played on the swings.  Randy chatted up Lana Adcock.  Jason practiced chess at their old house.

Caroline hung out on the jungle gym with her aunt Kristina Kane.  Kristina didn’t boo her, this time.

Jason wanted to hang out with Shara, so I figured I might as well kill another bird with the same stone.  He invited her to the park and then played the guitar.

The Schreiber inventory is always stocked with food, so no problem there, but, one by one, bladder and fatigue issues made it necessary to send the Schreibers home.

Another random Sim stopped by the house again; so strange now that their house is remote.  Being retired, Alice took responsibility for the guest.

She immediately had a wish to become friends with Ginny Windham.  I ultimately left them up to their own devices; they opted to go swimming.

That night, I failed to specifically direct Elisha to go to bed, so he chose Caroline’s bed, with her in it!  Gross!

Alice still likes to play in the sprinklers.  It seems like just yesterday she was a little kid.